How to Survive Embarrassment

Think of your most embarrassing moment. Now imagine replaying this moment over and over again several times. With each replay, the sting dulls; the embarrassment diminishes.

Most embarrassing moments are short-lived. Yet, some individuals refuse to engage in new behaviors or take any risks for fear of embarrassing themselves. This brief, negative feeling state becomes a significant force in controlling behavior. Some folks will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing this feeling

Most women can relate to another woman going out of her way to avoid seeing anyone when her she’s having a "bad hair day" or is not wearing any make-up. However, some women are so fearful of embarrassing themselves, that they will not leave their homes if they are displeased with their hair or make-up. In some cases, they may skip work or school because of the fear of embarrassing themselves.

Managing embarrassment means learning to acknowledge and live with this very human emotion. If you stop certain behaviors or refuse to try new experiences because of the fear of embarrassment, you have assigned this feeling a disproportionately significant role in your life.

A healthy proactive approach to managing embarrassment means that you briefly acknowledge this feeling while continuing to engage in the behavior. The negative feeling will soon diminish; and you will experience a renewed sense of confidence and self-esteem.

Laura R. Meers, Ph.D.

Consulting Psychologist