Smart Worrying

We all worry. We worry about our jobs, our bodies and our relationships. We worry about our families. As we age, we question the meaning of life and especially the meaning of our lives. Is it sex, money, status, fun, good deeds, or spiritual peace that brings us happiness? Will we be able to maintain our health, our function and independence, our dignity? Some of us even worry about death. How will we die? Will it be painful? Will we be dependent on others?

Guides to Smart Worrying

ACCEPTANCE
To worry is to be human. Acceptance of the process of worrying is acceptance of the human condition. We can’t eliminate it. It’s best to learn to worry in ways that serve our best interest. If we choose to do so, we can reflect on our individual process of worrying and, over time, we can gain more control over our worrying. We can become smarter about worrying.

MODERATION
Worrying is healthy in moderation. We worry about things that are important to us. It calls us to action. Worry that results in action is useful worry. Worry that isn’t going to result in action is usually less helpful. Thinking about how to solve our problems is helpful. Thinking too much about things we don’t have control over can be a waste of energy.

LISTENING SUPPORT
Sharing our worries with other people, preferably people whom are good listeners and respectful of our individuality, often helps us to clarify thoughts about our problems and potential solutions.

WRITING
Research indicates that writing about our worries helps. It is important to include your feelings in your writing. The more we do it the better we get at it.

TIMING
Like other activities in life, we worry better when we are at our best. When we are tired, upset, threatened or sick we think less clearly and less creatively. Each of us has times when we think better than others: morning, afternoon, or night. We can improve our ability to worry if we channel our worrying into times when we do it well. We get better when we develop a habit of quality problem solving at regular times.

BALANCE
Worrying drains energy. To worry effectively we need energy. We get energy from good food, regular exercise, good sleep, close relationships, growthful work, faith and purpose, relaxation and fun and enjoyment.

SYNERGY
You are a unique human being. These guides for worrying will work best when you develop your own unique recipe for combining them in a way that works best for you. Of course you will need to adapt the recipe over time as you grow and change. This is complex and subtle stuff. Most people can probably benefit from professional coaching in the art of smart worrying. At Meers Inc. we are humans who are in the process of reflecting on our lives and making the most of our worrying. We have years of experience in coaching others in the subtle art of smart worrying.

Jeff D. Sherrill, Ph.D.

Consulting Psychologist