Importance of Play

Children and adults learn a great deal about themselves, each other, and their world through play.  For children, it is often their primary way of communicating and interacting with others as well as learning what is ok and not ok.  They often communicate how they feel, what they have experienced, and the meaning assigned to both.  They also attempt to explore new things, solve problems, and develop some sense of the world around them including their role in it.

As adults, we can help to set the stage for learning through play.  We can foster a safe, secure, and comfortable environment in which we pay special attention to our children. We can spend time noticing what our children do without questioning or criticizing.  We can follow the lead in the play they create.  We can encourage their exploration while supporting their ability and willingness to make different choices.  They learn that there is someone who is interested in what they do and that what they do really matters.  They can also truly be heard.

As many models focused on child behavior suggest, we can pay more attention to what we want to see more often and less attention to that which is not as helpful.  We can describe, engage in, or reinforce positive behaviors.  Reinforcement could be verbal (e.g. “I like the way…”) or physical (e.g. hugs, high-fives, pat on the back).  Minor inappropriate behavior can be ignored.  We can also share clear expectations about what is not ok and how that behavior will be addressed as the need arises.  We can give children clear simple directions about behavior that is helpful without as much focus on what we don’t want to see.

Through these experiences, we can strengthen the relationship we have with our children.  We can also learn (or in some cases, re-learn) what we can do to help our children enjoy and value what they do. 

Sandra M. McBee-Strayer, Ph.D.

Consulting Psychologist